


MCDONALDS: KARMAEDA EDITION

by orphan_account



Category: Danganronpa, Homestuck
Genre: Bulges and Nooks (Homestuck), Discourse, M/M, Piss, blowjob, mcdonalds, why the fuck did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:28:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25757392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Karkat and Nagito have some spicy mcdonald’s action
Relationships: Komaeda Nagito/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	MCDONALDS: KARMAEDA EDITION

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this with a friend. the grammar sucks and this is probably the worst thing i've ever made, but i'm glad.

“A tale of 2 roses” - A karmaeda fanfic

It was a crisp night, about 4 am in the morning. There the locks of a pale man fluttered in the moonlight, each strand of hair elegantly flowing, each giving off a shadow against the pavement. The nearby McDonalds was still open, even in complete darkness, citizens could see the pale light shine out of the windows. One of the civilians, a troll named Karkat Vantas had stayed awake this night, because he desperately needed to take a piss. Have you ever tried sleeping at night while needing to take a piss? It’s basically impossible.  
He was also waiting for someone, the troll took out his phone and sent a message to the certain someone. 

carcinoGeneticist[CG] started trolling nagitoKomaeda[NK] at 4:21 am.

CG: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU.

carcinoGeneticist[CG] ceased trolling nagitoKomaeda[NK] at 4:23 am

*There was no answer, however Karkat soon received a tap on his shoulder*  
There stood a pale, skinny man. The same man that he was waiting for. 

“Karkat Kun, I’m sorry. Such a lowly person like me should have arrived sooner, it’s the least I could have done..” Nagito said with a blank smile on his face.

“Yeah, it’s. Whatever.” Karkat frowns, and shrugs. He gets up, and looks at Nagito.

“Where the fuck did you want to go again?” Karkat mutters, a little annoyed. “I hope it’s going to be worth it, otherwise you’re going to owe me a few hours of my life back.” 

“Ah, I wanted to get a beverage. Mcdonald’s sells the finest of sprites, truly something to savour” Nagito responds

Karkat snorts. “It’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever fucking heard.”

*Nagito walks up to the counter*  
“Ah… excuse us, I’d like to purchase 2 sprites, please.”

*The mcdonald’s employee seems to be on the verge of tears*  
“Sorry but we had a run in with this banana haired girl earlier. She caused havoc on our mcdonalds, and the sprite is all ruined”

“Ah, what despair this is, just as I was going to show Karkat kun how truly amazing the sprite is here.. oh well” 

“Fucking liberals.” Karkat muttered, too quiet to be heard. “Well, at least this day can’t get any worse. Where are the toilets?” The troll asks.

“U-um.. they’re out of service.. sorry.”  
The mcdonald’s employee responds, seemingly nervous. Did anything happen?

“Well it seems like we can’t fucking have anything in America, huh?!” Karkat crosses his arms, a bit conflicted about his options.

“It seems like we both are in need of something, hmm Vantas Kun?”  
Komaeda winked at him, his facial expression changing to that of a more suggestive tone

Karkat makes a confused face, it is very obvious that he knew what Nagito wanted, but he thought that pretending to not understand was a more suitable option. 

*The mcdonalds employee left the counter to go fix the ice cream machine or something, probably for the better.*

“What in the fuck do you mean by that?” 

“Hmm? Oh, what could I mean, I’m just being silly of course”  
Nagito replied. Karkat did not believe a word of what he said.

“Go straight to the point, you nookwhiffing bastard.” Karkat looks a little annoyed. his voice sounds rough.

“I’ve always wondered what troll piss tasted like, and what better chance than now?”

Karkat’s eyes widen, and he bites his lip softly, looking somewhat skeptical.

“Is that the reason why you wanted to meet me at such a late fucking hour?” He shoots back, his cheeks blushing a slight shade of pink. The troll doesn’t look that surprised. Nagito’s the type of person to have a piss fetish.

In response - the pale twink glanced his eyes back towards his would-be-lover  
“Yes. I want you to use me. I want you to release your hope in liquid form upon me. I want to feel what it’s like to embrace the golden rays of a Troll’s piss. Please, listen to me Karkat Kun. I….. want… I need your gamer boy piss”

The flush on Karkat’s face got more intense. He blinked, looking hesitant.  
“I… give me 20$ and we can work this out.” The troll stutters, looking away. He nervously crosses his arms, waiting for Nagito’s answer.

“20$?... as should be expected from a person of the likes of you, Karkat Kun.”  
*The white haired emo boy hands over 20$* 

The cute troll boy snatches the money in a quick motion and shoves it in his pocket, looking at Nagito with his manly, handsome, sexy, ravaging, lustrous, shining, bejeweled, bewildering, lustful, cum, glowing yellow eyes. 

“Well let’s get this done instead of standing there and doing nothing like two clueless assholes.” He mutters, heading outside the McDonalds.

“Ahah, well then. Let me embrace all of your hope then, Karkat kun~” 

“Do you ever shut up?” Karkat groaned.

“Hmm? Only if you can make me.”

And as Nagito said that, Karkat turned to look at him, with questionable intent in his eyes. 

“On your knees.” He ordered.

The twink obeyed.

Before doing anything else, Karkat looked around and made sure nobody was around. 

He rolled a 2 on his perception check, and so there was really the mcdonald’s cashier looking at what the ever living God in heaven’s fuck was being displayed from across the road but oh well.

The troll looked quite impatient and unzipped his pants in a hurry and pulled his own boxers down.  
Nagito had no clue what troll genitalia looked like, so what he saw surprised him more than a buzzfeed article about ‘how licking your cat’s bumhole is actually beneficial for your health’ could.

The sight of a red, wet tentacle is what he was greeted with at first. Karkat put his hand on his ‘bulge’ or whatever it’s called and guided it towards Nagito’s mouth.  
The toilet boy eagerly opened his mouth, letting the strange looking alien genitalia get into his mouth. Karkat seemed to enjoy it, holding back a pleased sigh. The troll hesitated at first, but he eventually let the piss splash splash in Nagito’s mouth.

It’s warm and not too sour - Karkat remembers to drink water atleast three times a day and is subscribed to r/hydrohomies, so it’s some toptier cute alien boy piss.

“Your mouth is finally being useful for once.” He whispers. Komaeda can hear the arousal in the other boy’s voice.

Karkat’s facial expression tensed up for a moment, as though time were paused. Then, he breathed a sigh of relief and his face muscles or whatever they’re fucking called untensced themselves due to nature’s call. Hey you didn’t write this story now did you so don’t judge my creative liberties.

It kinda looked like this, but with more yaoi and hotness.

It was as though Komaeda’s Dad had finally returned with the carton of milk he said he was getting from the store all those years ago, but instead of the carton of milk it was Karkat’s piss and it was splashing against Komaeda’s face.

Komaeda was swallowing more piss than the average English student swallows capsules of adderall after being told they have to write a 10 page essay on why the carpet in macbeth was yellow and how it interests the reader.

The bermuda triangle could be compared to Komaeda’s mouth right now with the amount of stuff going in and seemingly disappearing without a trace. 

If a salesman were going around the block to sell super suction vacuums and they witnessed what was occurring right now, you can bet they wouldn’t sell a single vacuum because no amount of super suction sucking action (™ limited) would even compare to Komaeda’s current gulping of troll piss.

If Bear Grylls were here, he would congratulate Komaeda on his impressive survival skills.

Nagito could feel the other male’s bulge go deeper in his throat as though he were a type 2 diabetic kid deepthroating an ice lolly after his mother tested him for blood sugar, eager to taste more. Nothing could be more romantic, they thought. A cheap blowjob behind a McDonald’s (Piss included, we have standards you know) at 4AM is what anyone with a sane mind should hope for in their life atleast once. 

The troll starting thrusting a bit; literally facefucking the other. The way Nagito choked on his bulge and the noises he made were music to his ears (specifically, nightcore country music with anime girls in the thumbnail) Karkat hasn’t realized that he also made some, hmm, questionable noises to say the least. (Imagine a fax printer malfunctioning and being thrown into a woodchipper, I’m sure you know the kind of sound)

The troll’s bulge tasted unusual - foregin to the other male (like that 1 Spanish teacher almost every straight girl had a crush on but tried to deny). Karkat sped up a little, turning his small noises into deep, low moans. He gripped nagito’s hair tightly, forcing his head forwards and backwards as though he were playing mario kart and trying to go fast enough to overtake everyone else but not so fast that he’d faceplant into the side of the race course.. The sight of Nagito’s face, coupled with the warm feeling around his bulge nearly sent him over the edge, but he kept going. 

It was natural for Karkat to be this rough, because Nagito was just a urinal to him and a 20$ dollar bill, the kind of crumpled up dollar bill that you’d find shoved into the back ass pocket of one of your old pairs of jeans. Who even decided that ass pockets in jeans were a good idea in the first place? Anyway, back to the intense bulge sucking.

“Fuck- I’m so, ngghnnn- close-!” His voice is uneven, the grip he had on Nagito’s hair tightening even more, like the grip on the controller of whoever’s being thrashed at mario kart. Feeling that he was about to release his epic bucket juice (don’t call it that please) into Komaeda’s mouth. They both knew he wasn’t going to pull out.

The troll’s whole body tensed up as he felt his orgasm, his genetic material flooding Nagito’s mouth. It was too much, so he obviously had to swallow most of it. 

The noise Karkat made was the best part - it sounded kinda like “baby shark do doo doo do do doo baby shark do doo doo dooo doooo” Enough to make any twink tremble in submission

He pulled out, putting his pants and boxers back on. 

“Best 20$ of my whole fucking life.”


End file.
